Help Me Find My Story. I’m Not Sure I Have One.
Family talk
“Help me find my story. I’m not sure I have one.” Yes, you do.
They’re hard to see in your own life. I often hear, “Really, what have I done? I’ve just lived my life.”
You know what? It is the “just lived” part that makes your stories relatable to those of us just living our lives, too.
To help you find your stories, I’ve created this list of questions to spark an “ah ha” moment. And, don’t worry whether you have photos at this point. Just find your story.
Questions for Finding Your Stories
What about your families’ histories are important for future generations to know?
Who were you named after?
Does the family surname have any special history or meaning?
Was it associated with a place in another country or was it changed at some point?
When did your family arrive in the US? In your state? In your town?
Why did they come?
What pivotal events happened to them that shaped the family’s history and your family today?
What about your parents is important to know?
What are their full names and why they were named such?
When and where they were born – hospital/home?
What about their characteristics – personalities, looks, how you got along (or didn’t) and why…
How did they spend their days/make a living/hobbies?
Did they have siblings that were important to you? How/why?
What about your childhood is important to share?
Are there interesting circumstances around when/where you were born?
What did you look like as a child? Did anyone ever talk about how you looked?
What stories of your childhood – funny/difficult situations at home or school or elsewhere?
What about schooling is important?
Where did you go – home/public/private?
What were the subjects you loved/hated?
When did you stop going to school?
What was significant about your school experiences – were you popular/an outsider? Was it easy/hard/enjoyable/horrible? What makes you smile/wince about your school experiences?
What about your hobbies/jobs/friends/pets are important/funny/difficult?
Do you play an instrument/collect something/whistle through your fingers? Who taught you?
Did you have to work as a child or teen? If so, what was your first job?
Who did you hang out with? Kids from the neighborhood/school/place of worship/adults?
Did you have pets? If so, what? Any funny stories?
What stories around your teen/young adult years need to be told?
Who was influential in your life then? Why?
Do you remember your first date? Getting your driver’s license? Going to/or not going to parties?
What were your goals/dreams?
Did your family have a strong opinion/influence about what you should do in your life?
What was your first job?
Did you go to college? Why or why not? If so, what did you study in college? Why?
What makes you smile/wince about this time in your life?
What stories around dating need to be told?
Where and how did you and your spouse/partner meet? What attracted you to each other?
What did your parent/s think/say?
How old were you?
Are there stories around your dating that make you smile/wince? How long after dating did you decide to get married/or not? What prompted the decision?
Are there stories around your wedding that need telling?
What stories about your early married life are important to share?
By now, you get the gist….
Are there stories that were significantly influenced by social/cultural laws/norms/events?
If so, what happened? Why?
What were the events/repercussions and how have they shaped individuals/the family (both positively and negatively)?
What beliefs guide you?
Did you grow up in a faith tradition?
How did that affect your personal beliefs?
What experiences affected your beliefs?
Have your beliefs/faith changed during your life? If so, how? If not, why not?
Remember – there may well be stories worth sharing for which there are no photos.
Typically, significant but sad or difficult times or events won’t have any photos. If there are no photos, look for images that illustrate the point or situation…think of a newspaper headline or postcard.
Life is a Story. Tell yours.
The wonderful photo is from the Library of Congress collection.